reading

I love to read. Love. To. Read. My problem is that I can't just casually read a book- if I start a good book I can't put it down. If I am forced to put it down it consumes my thoughts until I finish it. I read all 4 Twilight books in less than 2 weeks. Therefore I can't always be reading a book because I will get absolutely nothing accomplished.

I have been following Matt Logelin's blog since spring of 2008. I can't remember how I heard about it or why I started to read it, but he has a terribly sad story. Here is his story in his own words- what happened?

i’ve been hearing
that question
a lot.
so…
for those of you
who don’t know
here goes…
5 weeks of bedrest.
(2 at home, 3 in the hospital).
liz had low amniotic fluid.
baby had her cord around her neck.
baby’s heart rate dropped
(multiple times).
liz almost delivered
(multiple times).
the day finally came
(3/24).
madeline was born via c-section.
everyone was happy
and healthy.
liz was told
to hang out in bed
for another 24 hours
and then she was going to
see madeline.
she waited patiently
hearing stories
and seeing photos
of me
feeding and changing
madeline’s diapers.
(she was soooo jealous and i teased her mercilessly that i was 1, 2, 3 diapers ahead of her and that she had to catch up).
24 hours came
and she got ready
to lay her hands
on madeline
for the very
first
time.
she got up from bed
(with the help of some nurses and me).
we joked about her new-found independence.
i told her that she
had to start waiting on me
because i’d been waiting on her
for 5 weeks.
she laughed,
and said,
“of course.”
she walked to the mirror
and said,
“my hair looks like shit.”
we all laughed
(because her hair looked great, especially for someone who’d been on bed rest for 5 weeks).
the nurse said,
“are you ready to go?”
she said,
“yes.”
her excitement
was overflowing.
she turned around
to sit in her wheelchair
for her ride to see
madeline.
she said,
“i feel lightheaded”
and then she passed out.
we got her in to
her hospital bed.
doctors and nurses
rushed to help her.
but nothing could be done
to bring her
back.
no one to blame.
shitty luck
and
a pulmonary embolism
are what led us to
the saddest,
most horrific moment
of my life.
(and many other people’s lives).

Over the last 3 years I have read along with thousands of other readers as Matt has faced his biggest challenges in his life- dealing with the loss of his wife while caring for his infant daughter- it is such a bittersweet story.

Anyway, yesterday his book came out (I had preordered it on my Nook weeks ago)- Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss & Love. I can't put it down- yesterday after work I blazed through 175 pages of the 238 book and woke up thinking about how much I wanted to finish this book.

Here is one of my favorite quotes in the book:

I've always been of the mind that great art can only come from a place of immense pain (mostly because I hate happy music), and that the resulting work is beautiful because it is motivated by the purest and most authentic of emotions: sadness. I've never believed so strongly in this axiom as I did in these two moments I'm about to describe..